we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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