I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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