Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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