3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
