make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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