it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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