She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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