He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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