I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
