Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
