the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just found puke in my bra..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i think my cat just said my name.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
