I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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