Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
