May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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