i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
