he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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