He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
