Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm jealous of your bromance
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
