I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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