If i come over, it means nothing
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
