Im at strip club and am horny
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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