yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Small penises have feelings too.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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