I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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