you're like a bully in the Christmas story
that's an acceptable place to lick
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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