Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
