I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
