What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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