I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
