You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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