I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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