didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
