Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
