So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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