i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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