; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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