I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
