I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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