This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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