Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
