woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
