i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
