They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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