I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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