i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
