Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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