sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
