Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
