do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
