I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
