i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Mom said you looked used
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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