I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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