Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
