how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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