There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
