NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
