Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
