Christians are straight up FREAKS
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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