1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You just made me feel so damn special
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
