i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
