is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
