Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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