these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
