you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
