when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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